Sunny Days

LOST

K so yesterday i went through a weird day - my friend and I went into Sydney to go to this place called "pancakes on the rocks" it was so yummy, and of course we talked alot and well all of a sudden i really started questioning what i was doing here and how long i was going to be here for etc and not really feeling like what i'm doing here is working for me that i could've picked a different bible college. But i think it's more because my friend is really struggling with being here so then it started to make me question what i was doing here - because after spending some time with God later that evening i realized that i'm good here, supposed to be here. I think what scares me is i feel lost. Like i don't really know at this point in time what direction I'm heading in - like what will i do after this - do i want to be in full-time ministry? do i want to do a bachelor of theology after? like what do i actually want? i think that is the hardest part and then part of me feels like i should get a job, buy a car and settle here - like i'll be here for a few years and yet that seems so weird. Looking into physio type jobs and to be a physio here you have to be registered with the Australia physio people whoever they are etc and so not really having much luck in that area - but i know God is my provider - Phil 4:19 says that the Lord God supplies all my needs according to his riches and glory - and you know he knew i wanted that piano and then he provided me a job for a day to make the exact amount that it cost - now only he knew how much it cost - i can't believe looking back, already what he was doing, everything is for a purpose, who would've known that at the point that i went to Wildlife summer camp he was actually putting the people in my life that he would use later on to bless me with money i needed. He is so great. Tonight the message was on time and how we need to be people that really use our time to advance the kingdom and not waste our time - Time is a gift from God, it was a rather challenging message - i don't have time to explain it all on here but one of the points was that Jesus spent a lot of time with God and it challenged me to do the same as well - what better place to learn than in bible college hey? we do have lots of time really, my schedule is definitely not hectic - and i dont' know why i worry so much about money, seriously, do i really think that God is not big enough to provide, if he called me here, he will provide, he may not give it to me today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this semester, but everything he is doing is for his purposes and his glory and my debts may not be paid off for years, but you will never be second by putting Jesus first!! so i guess i can say that i'm doing good - but with everything there is a cost, i had to will today to put Jesus first, i really didn't feel like going to church tonight, but i'm sure glad i did, God met me where i was at tonight and told me exactly what i needed to hear - he's got me in the palm of his hand, i just have to trust him. He is setting things up for me - i just can only see the pigeon hole and he's trying to show me the whole picture

posted by Meliss @ 5:36 AM